Evolution & The Best Dads

I've so enjoyed watching the evolution of my friends and acquaintances as they move from single young men, to experienced professionals and now to young parents. Sometimes I feel as if those three periods provide either evidence that people do significantly change and evolve during their lives or that the people we know are more complex than we ever really truly think about when we think about them or spend time with them.

Don't get me wrong, I know plenty of people who are the same person I met 10-20 years ago. Some even telling the same stories or the same jokes. What fascinates me are those people that move, mold and develop in different directions, some positive some negative from our first interaction. I remember the boyfriend, now husband of a good friend of my wife's. When we met he was a loud, brash, borderline alcoholic that make you always feel like he was selling something. He was always right and while he brought energy to a party, you quickly made your way to safer ground. Now, that same guy is the father of two, devoted husband and one of the most selfless people I know. He still has that energy and brashness, but redirected. For him, having a family brought out the core values he holds and stripped away all the bs, it's about being a good father, a good husband and a good man now that he's faced with real responsibility.

Where am I going with all this? I want to make a point about what this has taught me about the good dads I've seen in this world. It's easy enough to meet someone and know them for a few years and think "hey, he's a really great father". But maybe he's always been a nice guy to everyone and caring, etc. What does that really tell you? Seeing other people turn into great dads tells you that the great dads are the ones who, regardless of their own previous behavior, know that being a dad is the point where you ante up and focus on what's important. You force yourself to become more selfless, put your ego aside, and ensure you're always putting their needs first.

I hope that I have evolved in this way. I don't think I've always been selfless and giving the way people I know who truly are, but I want to be that guy know with my family and especially with my kids. While I don't plan on changing who am, I want to push myself to be that responsible, caring, selfless guy as much as who I am will allow. Then, I just have to hope that everything I have to give is enough to have my kids become the people I hope they can be.